Eeyore has a penchant for gloomy ruminations, or so says Tigger. But his particular outlook on life produces some pretty great (and perfectly deadpan) witticisms. Eeyore has a clever, nay brilliant, sense of straight-faced humor that he can expertly pull off…with or without his tail:
“It’s not much of a tail, but I’m sort of attached to it.”
Oh, Eeyore, you’re so literal. Literally brilliant.
“Wish I could say yes, but I can’t.”
Winnie the Pooh asked, “Lovely day, isn’t it?” And Eeyore responds in true Eeyore fashion: open with something affirmative and then bring in the punch line for a slam dunk.
“If it is a good morning, which I doubt.”
Taking a new sharper spin on a normally rote greeting. There are clever things brewing in Eeyore’s mind. You can just tell. Look at that face.
“Most likely lose it again, anyway.”
The best kind of humor is often rooted in the truth. And Eeyore is just being honest here.
“I’d say thistles, but nobody listens to me, anyway.”
Thistles?! He’s supposed to be suggesting a prize for someone finding his tail, and Eeyore suggests thistles. It’s just so out there that it kind of makes us laugh.
“Sure is a cheerful color. Guess I’ll have to get used to it.”
He likes it? He doesn’t like it? You can never really can tell. This donkey keeps you on your toes.
“It’s an awful nice tail, Kanga. Much nicer than the rest of me.”
Perfectly composed Eeyore compliment: equal part flattery and biting self-deprecation.
“Days. Weeks. Months. Who knows?”
Obviously Winnie the Pooh wasn’t going to stay stuck forever. But Eeyore supposes a reality where he could. And that’s pretty funny. (Sad for Winnie the Pooh, though, unless he had honey).
“Thanks for noticin’ me.”
Because that’s all that Winnie the Pooh did. Minimalistic and deadpan humor à la Eeyore.
“Might take a day or two, but I’ll find a new one.”
Eeyore had a good idea, so he naturally goes off to find another one. Literally. He trounces off (okay, not trounces – that’s for Tigger) to go tangibly discover something that is abstract. Irony. We love it.
“It’s all for naught.”
Eeyore cannot not win at homonyms.
And finally, when Winnie the Pooh asks the question we’ve all been wanting to ask:
“So, are you finally happy, Eeyore?”
“No. But I sure do like this new tail.”
A surprising twist where he ends with a bit of positivity. Sometimes the best kind of humor comes from the unexpected. Classic, Eeyore.
Return to the Hundred Acre Wood for more Eeyore witticisms. Stream Winnie the Pooh now on Disney+.